A Letter to Mica

Dear Mica,

Let me start by saying I miss you. Yes, I know we hadn’t seen each other in a while, but you were one of my favorites darlin’. I think you knew that. That’s why I feel free to speak my mind to you in this letter. It’s b/c I know that you know I said this from my heart.

Mica, the truth is, I’ve been angry at you. Why? I want to cry while I write this…because you were surrounded by love. Forget my love for you as one of the lights in my day. As a teacher a person deals with many types of young people…but you were a “lovely light” in a day. But forget me.

You have such a loving family who’d lay down their own life for you. Your mom and dad have missed you SO much! And Jansen, just like your parents, is still absolutely brokenhearted. Your decision has left huge hole in their lives. In fact, that same hole has been left in far more lives than you ever would have realized. Why Mica? No matter what type of help you’d needed, they’d helped you get it. I just don’t understand.

Your girlfriends (good Lord, especially your girlfriends) and classmates are another family!!! Your BCHS family was, and still is, heartbroken. They don’t get why you didn’t say anything! Why didn’t you reach out one word for help? You would’ve gotten it honey! Why?

Oh Mica. Why? It makes me SO upset that you are gone. If you’d been taken from us some way, our grief would be different…but maybe not as deep, because we all feel so…helpless. Could we have said something, done something to have stopped this, stopped you?

But I’ve dealt with my anger.

Truth is Mica, I’ve had deep depression years ago that brought me within inches of where you went. Inches from not ever being a proud father and probably not a great husband, but one who tries hard. Inches from not being a teacher…who has had over a thousand young people in my life…but a few touched my heart while in my life. I still see you smile in the front of my same classroom I’m in today. You were a light and love to all of us.

Why Mica? It doesn’t matter. I’ve been there my own self.

I just pray that other people’s “lights” don’t go away without saying “help”.

I love you kid. You have a special place in my heart that will be there when I go to heaven. No one knows the cross you bore, so I tell you what sweetie…I’ll see you there.

Love Always,
Mr. J
Michael Johnson

Please consider donating $31 in Honor of what would have been Mica’s 31st Birthday (Dec. 15) to our efforts to raise awareness of Suicide Prevention & Promote Animal Adoptions! http://www.cfmt.org/give/teammica/